Added: Waldemar Bartlett - Date: 14.12.2021 19:28 - Views: 20986 - Clicks: 6066
This is the second in a guest post series for Sexual Assault Awareness Month, highlighting the intersection between sexual assault and teen dating violence. For resources on teen dating violence, visit ThatsNotCool. Since then, I was in a very restorative relationship that lasted two years. Sadly, that had to come to an end, and for the past year now I have been trying to figure out how to get myself to care about someone enough for them to care about me. Regardless of my new-ness to dating, I am no stranger to navigating the world as a survivor.
As extreme as these two dilemmas seem to be, I have found it to be remarkably difficult for people to find a happy medium. These people seem to never be able to say or do anything without reminding themselves, and subsequently me, of my survivorship. In no way does this help, either. Both of these reactions are frustrating. I refuse to settle for people who are so uncomfortable with my survivorship that they cannot seem to treat me like a normal person. Literally everyone has some sort of twisted past, some sort of confusing present, and some sort of bright future.
I am no different, so stop treating me as such. To all the people out there who will inevitably date survivors because there are more of us than you think : we are normal human beings. This might come as a shock to you, but it is not your place to be made uncomfortable by my survivorship.
Needless to say, that date ended shortly thereafter. While I have spent so much energy in trying to explain how to react to finding out you are dating a survivor, I have not yet addressed the most important part of this experience: the survivor. I find it very difficult to allow myself to care deeply about anyone these days, even platonic friends. When a survivor tells you their story, you should always thank them for trusting you with that information. It is no easy task to be open about this, and when we are, we are the putting ourselves in the most vulnerable position possible.
A word of caution: vulnerability should not be equated with shame, and we should try to be proud of ourselves when we manage to be open about our stories. While this is much, much easier said than done, we must remember that when someone reacts poorly to our survivorship, it does not mean that we are any less of a person.
To all the non-survivors out there: keep in mind that while it may be difficult for you to tread the waters of dating a survivor, it was infinitely more difficult for that person to get to the point in their life where they could safely call themselves a survivor. This originally appeared on Odyssey.
Leah Zeiger is a dancer, activist, and survivor who founded The Sunflower Project in the beginning of , during her second year of college. In hopes of using her art to express her own abusive relationship, Leah has choreographed numerous pieces revolving around varying aspects of life as a survivor, and has created a film, Untold , to highlight and expose the abuse she went through at the hands of her teenage boyfriend.
This week marks the 22 nd anniversary of the Violence Against Women Act, landmark legislation that has drastically changed how …. Toggle . Us Stay Informed. Futures Blog. Our List up here! Related Content. During this time, they are more susceptible to violence and sexual assault. In Zambia and other countries, girls know there is a risk of rape every time they leave their homes to fetch water. But neglecting their water collecting duties, or waiting until a safer hour of the day, are not choices these women are allowed to make.Dating a woman who has been physically abused
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What You Need to Know About Dating an Intimate Partner Violence Survivor